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03: morning photos

2008-04-03 06:48

Tags: photography Location: lunar

my desk area at work

my desk area at work

crecent moon at sunrise

crescent moon at sunrise

21:41: losing steam

Tags: swear frustration work tired stress anxiety alcohol hair cleaning Location: 1337

I'm really losing steam fast this week.

Or have lost it, I should say. Around Tuesday I should think...

I've been working on the same project at work since last year, and it has had some fairly unfortunate feature-creep. The upshot of this is that tomorrow we release several months of developer time onto the unsuspecting populace. At which time it must work, or I get a black mark for missing things.

I've been the only QA on this project 90% of the time, and thus am understandably apprehensive about the release. (I think my bosses would say I've been "entirely noncommittal" about the health of the project this whole time. Well, sorry, but I know it's possible I have been missing stuff. Extra eyes mean extra fixes. There have been precious few.)

At any rate, getting to my point in leisure, I'm plum tuckered out. This project is fine, and has admirable goals. Yet at the same time I can't help feeling there's a slim possibility I get blamed for a major blow-up when we post. Thus, the stress levels at work have been climbing into the rafters, building complicated and erratic nests and boring directly into the upper stratosphere in their off-hours.

I'm burned-out on this project. The major release is tomorrow. While I have exceedingly high hopes, I'm afraid I also have unfortunately high stress levels concerning the entire affair.

I had to leave work early today to get home from work so I could unwind a bit. I had a couple of beers, played some DS FFIII, basically did anything but think about work for a time.

Then I trimmed my hair, scrubbed down and swept the bathroom, took a shower, and tidied up the condo for a good hour and a half. Basically I did everything I could think of to avoid time passing, yet managed to only facilitate the passing with even greater ease...

Apparently there's also a late-night Battle Star Galactica party hosted by a co-worker which I'm somewhat expected to attend, but probably won't. I would like to, but sadly, I know (and care) nothing for the new (or old) Battle Star Galactica show, and I hope to be somewhere the fuck out of Dodge by the time it gets underway (sometime around 20:00-22:00 apparently. Around my bed-time.) I like pretty much everyone at work who is going to be there, but at the same time, I just cannot deal with this job right now. Burn-out is burn-out, and damn. It's harsh but true.

Also, I've been given nearly free reign to work over-time, which is not going to help in the burn-out arena. Lovely.

If the term "burning the candle at both ends" meant anything at this point I'd be opening a paraffin mine and going for broke, but I'm sick to death of the whole thing. I'm about ready for that little gust of wind that says, "meh", and blows me along to something new and more interesting.

Or at least less stressful.

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